National Canine Lymphoma Awareness Day – November 7th
Q: What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
A: That hit the spot
Q: What do you call a dog in the winter?
A: A chili dog
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!
National Cappuccino Day – November 8th
Procaffeinating: When you use coffee as an excuse for being late – “I should have been studying for the exam, but I was procaffeinating.”
I am very shy in public. I can, however, espresso myself quite adequate if I have a cup of cappuccino.
When I got to the office, the kitchen was filled with familiar aromas. I had a strong feeling of “Deja Brew”
National Louisiana Day – November 9th
A few clues to being a true Louisianan:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. “Vacation” means going to the family reunion.
3. You’ve seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
4. You measure distance in minutes.
5. You know several people who have hit a deer.
6. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
7. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
8. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
9. You think ethanol makes your truck “run a lot better.”
10. Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks.
11. You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
12. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it,no matter what time of the year.
13. You use “fix” as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
14. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,grain, or animal.
15. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave bothunlocked.
16. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-Osalad with marshmallows.
17. You carry jumper cables in your car.
18. You know what “cow tipping” and “snipe hunting” are.
19. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
20. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
21. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
22. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
23. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
24. You find 90 degrees F “a little warm.”
25. You know all 4 seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, andChristmas.
26. You know if another Louisianan is from southern, middle, or northernLouisiana as soon as they open their mouth.
27. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumboweather.
U.S. Marine Corps Birthday – November 10th
When the sergeant told our new commander that his driver could not participate in an upcoming field maneuver because she was pregnant, the enraged commander demanded to know just how pregnant she was.
The sergeant’s reply: “Completely, sir.”
A group of Marines were inspecting several lots of grenades. While everyone was concentrating on the task at hand, one prankster held up a spare pin and asked, “Has anyone seen my grenade?”
The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. Here are some favorites from rallypoint.com:
• Instructed a private in the mess hall to look for left-handed spatulas
• Sent a recruit to medical-supplies office in search of fallopian tubes
• Had a new guy conduct a“boom test” on a howitzer by yelling “Boom!” down the tube in order to “calibrate” it
• Ordered a private to bring back a five-gallon can of dehydrated water (in fact, the sergeant just wanted an empty water can)