National Days – Week of September 25th, 2017

comicNational Comic Book Day – September 25th

Q: What is a superhero’s favorite part of the joke?

A: The “punch” line!

Q: What is Spider-mans favorite brand of Rice?

A: Uncle Bens

Q: What does a superhero put in his beverages?

A: Just ice.

Three drunkards are standing on top of the Empire State Building.

The first one says to the other two, “You know, it’s a funny thing about these wind currents. A person could jump off of this building right now and not even hit the ground; the wind would carry him right back up to the top of the building!”

The second drunk says, “You’re crazy!”

The first drunk says, “I’m serious! Watch!” The first drunk jumps off of the building, and the wind carries him right back up to the top!

The second drunk says, “Let me try!” So the second drunk leaps off of the building and promptly falls to the street below, landing with a hideous SPLAT!

The first drunk smiles, clearly amused. The third drunk looks at him and says, “You know, Superman, you can be a real Jerk When you’re drunk!”

beer2National Drink Beer Day – September 28th

Q: What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?

A: A Budweiser in each hand!

Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?

A: “A beer please, and one for the road.”

Q: Why are Men like coolers?

A: Load them with beer, and you can take them anywhere!

Boy: “I love you so much, I could never live without you.”

Girl: “Is that you or the beer talking?”

Boy: “It’s me talking to the beer.”

coffee2National Drink Coffee Day – September 29th

Q: Why are men are like coffee?

A: The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!

Q: What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?

A: De-calf-inated!

Q: Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?

A: Because it’s GROUNDS for divorce!

Q: What do you call sad coffee?”

A: Depresso.

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