July 31st – National Mutt Day
Q: What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
A: That hit the spot!
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!
Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
A: Dingo Starr!
Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.
Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.
August 1st – National Girlfriends Day
Q: What did the artist say to his girlfriend?
A: I really love you with all my art!
Q: What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
The mobster told everyone his ex was an absolute treasure. By treasure, he meant you will need a map and a shovel to find her.
Why didn’t the man report his stolen credit card?
The thief was spending less then his girlfriend.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A girlfriend to show him how to work it.
August 4th – National Grab Some Nuts Day (write your own jokes)