World Emoji Day (July 17th)
See how many of these you can figure out.
National Hot Dog Day (July 19th)
Q: Did you see the movie about the hot dog?
A: It was an Oscar Wiener.
Q: What do you call a hot dog race?
A: Wiener takes all.
Q: When can a pizza marry a hot dog?
A: After a very frank relationship.
Q: What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large tray of hot dogs. The nun posted a sign on the hot dog tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the hot dogs.”
National Daiquiri Day (July 19th)
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew the doctor’s habit and would always have a drink waiting. But one day the bartender ran out of hazelnut extract, so he substituted hickory nuts. When the doctor arrived, he took a sip and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”
“No, I’m sorry,” the bartender replied. “It’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.”