Friday Funny – National Day Categories – July 14th


July 14th has national days designated for the following:

July 14th

National Tape Measure Day

mockingbird2000 mockingbirds:   2 kilomockingbirds
igloo-3Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

Wontons_2-680x4862000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

banana peelTime between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

semicolon_oval_decalHalf of a large intestine:   1 semicolon

National Nude Day

beergirlsqa5HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked … with beer.

leaves

A couple is going to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with her privates covered only with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.

The wife asks: “What are you waiting for?”

The husband replies: “Autumn.”

elnakedQ: What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A: How do you breathe through that thing?

pregnant

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?

A: Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.

adam

A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

“Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Briton “They must be British.”

“Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.”

No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. They are Russian.”

3 thoughts on “Friday Funny – National Day Categories – July 14th

  1. Loved these!! Thanks Don. I belong to a small group of writers who call themselves the ‘semi-colons’ because our editor dos not like semi colons and cuts them from our books. My husband says we sound like a ‘half- assed’ group

    Liked by 1 person

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