Friday Funnies – Jokes by noted comedians


chicken-or-eggI was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another dressed as an egg. And I thought: “This could be interesting.”  – Micky Flanagan

cold air balloon

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon. But it never really took off. – Milton Jones

narnia

My friend keeps telling me I’m in the closet. I just say it’s Narnia business! – Will Ferrell

old lady walking

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the hell she is. – Ellen DeGeneres

turndown-service-hotel

Posh hotels have a turn-down service. I had never heard of this and there was a knock at the door and a woman said: “I’ve come to turn down your bed.” To which I said: “Well, many women have in the past. Why should you be any different?” – Michael McIntyre

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