I finally convinced my mother that it was a good idea for her to learn to text. Her first message to me? “Whereisthespacebar?”
What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer? They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.
Me: Siri, where is the best place to hide a body?
Siri: The second page of a Google search.
The closest I’ve been to a diet this year is erasing food searches from my browser history.