If con is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant. In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant. In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant. In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant. In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant. And in the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.
The Pentagon announced that its fight against ISIS will be called Operation Inherent Resolve. They came up with that name using Operation Random Thesaurus.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of a national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.