Marvel announced that the next Iron Man will be an African-American woman. However, in keeping with Hollywood tradition, she will still be played by Robert Downey Jr.
A new app has come out that describes itself as “Uber for Sushi.” The app tells you exactly how many minutes away your E.coli is.
Just yesterday, Rio’s acting governor warned the Olympics could be a “big failure,” which is actually an improvement, because until yesterday, it looked like a massive catastrophe.
Corruption and crime aren’t the only things plaguing the Olympics. There’s also actual plague, because fear over the Zika virus, which can cause birth defects, has led some athletes to stay home and others to take special precautions, like freezing their sperm. “What’s going on in there?” “Don’t open the door. I’m training for the Olympics!”
The UK officially voted to leave the European Union. It caused the British pound to hit a 31-year low. You could tell Brits were struggling today. Queen Elizabeth was wearing one of those cardboard crowns from Burger King.
Following the vote, British Prime Minister David Cameron actually resigned, saying that the country needs new leadership. An American was like, “Can you start here next January?”
Hillary Clinton gave a speech in Columbus, Ohio, where she called Trump an uncaring businessman. Which I guess is supposed to be an insult, except those are the exact words he has printed on his business card.
Clinton’s senior adviser said if we were to put Trump behind the wheel of the American economy, he would drive us off a cliff. That’s ridiculous. He’s going to drive us into a wall, a nice beautiful wall paid for by Mexico.