Q: What is the difference between a mechanical and civil engineer?
A: Mechanical engineers design weapons and civil engineers design targets.
Q: What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.