Although I knew I had put on a few pounds, I didn’t consider myself overweight until the day I decided to clean my refrigerator. I sat on a chair in front of the appliance and reached in to wipe the back wall.
While I was in this position, my teenage son came into the kitchen. “Hi, Dad,” he said.
“Whatcha doin’, having lunch?”
I started my diet that day.
A woman was home-schooling her kids and during a science lesson, she picked up a magnet and said to her kids, “My name begins with the letter M, and I pick things up. What am I?”
My son answered, “You’re a mommy.”
Fresh out of gift ideas, a man buys his mother-in-law a large plot in an expensive cemetery. On her next birthday, he buys her nothing, so she lets him have it.
“What are you complaining about?” he fires back.
“You still haven’t used the present I gave you last year.”