Thursday Funny – Science


keep-calm-and-accept-murphys-law

Murphy’s Ten Laws for scientists
(1) if something can go wrong, it will do so just before your grant is up for review;
(2) if the reading on your detector is correct, then you have forgot to plug it in;
(3) if several things can go wrong then they will do so all at the same time;
(4) if nothing can go wrong with your experiment, something still will;
(5) left unto itself, your experiment will go from bad to worse; on the other hand, if you pay attention to the experiment then it will take three times longer to complete than you thought it would;
(6) Nature is both subtle and malicious (Murphy stole this one from Albert Einstein);
(7) a straight line will never fit your data, and using a wiggly line will result in the rejection by referees of the publication of work;
(8) if you make a great discovery today, you will find a major error in your methods tomorrow (experienced experimentalists call this effect “here today, gone tomorrow”);
(9) in contrast to a radio, banging your apparatus when you are at peak frustration will not fix it but permanently break it (for this reason, it is important for experimentalists to remain calm at all times);
(10) when your experiment is just about to succeed, you will run out of grant money.

teachers-corner-management-week1-resource

In a fifth-grade class, a teacher asked students various science questions, of which the following were the funniest:

Teacher: “What is the definition of a protein?’
Student: “A protein is something that is made up of mean old acids.”

Teacher: “What kind of tails do opossums have?”
Student: “Reprehensible ones”

Teacher: “What is the spinal column?”
Student: “A long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.”

Teacher: “How long does it take the Earth to rotate about its axis?”
Student: “The Earth makes a resolution once every 24 hours.”

brain-transplants-merl

A man, complaining of headaches, entered a hospital for diagnostic tests. A doctor examined the results for a brain scan and told the patient, “I have bad news and good news for you. The bad news is that you have a serious brain disease and will die without treatment. The good news is that this hospital has developed a new procedure for brain transplants and due to a car accident this morning two ‘fresh’ brains are available: one is from a politician and the other is from a scientist. The brain of the politician costs $225,000, while that of the scientist is only $29.95.” Puzzled, the patient asked, “Why is the scientist’s brain was so much cheaper?” The doctor replied, “It’s used.”

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