Wednesday Funny – Random


granny-with-gun

An elderly lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car found four males sitting in the car.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required…so get out of the car!

The four men didn’t wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat.

Small problem: her key wouldn’t fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down.

She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where four very pale males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman.

No charges were filed.

Honk-large

 

A woman from Dearborn Heights was stopped at a red light on West Road in Trenton when she saw a bumper sticker on the car in front of her:

Honk if you love Jesus

She does, so she did.

The driver got out with what looked like a sawed-off baseball bat, and smashed dents into her hood.

alligatorap

The Florida State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishers, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in Osceola, Polk, Manatee, Orange and Dade Counties.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the alligators unexpectedly.

They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with an alligator.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity.

People should recognize the difference between small young alligator and large adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are smaller and contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.

Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

 

1 thought on “Wednesday Funny – Random

Leave a Reply to Rachael Ritchey Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s