Q: How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?
A: A lawyer has his hands in his own pockets
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
Q: What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
A: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.